For most of my life, I’ve felt alone.
I had popular friends and was part of the popular circle, but I felt unpopular. I felt like the weird kid, who kind of fit in and had lots of friends, but the connection was missing.
I have felt awkward and out of place, most of my life.
I have a twin sister, but as you may know, if you have a twin, there’s a deep desire for a separate identity from your twin during your adolescent, teen, and young adult years. So much together-ness, can lead you to really NOT want to be the twin, but just want to be . . . you.
In college, I soothed this awkwardness and lack of connection I felt by bonding with friends over shared pains, filling my time with jobs, and smoking pot.
As the years went by, I graduated college, stopped smoking, and grew up.
After my daughter was born, I felt more alone than ever.
As I embarked on motherhood for the first time and started my spiritual journey, friends of my earlier years began to fall away.
I became the first one of my friends and the first one of my family to have a child. No one quite tells you how isolating an experience of motherhood can be, especially early on, and for me, it was coupled with experience a spiritual awakening at the same time.
Alone. Isolated. Separate.
At the time of my daughter’s birth, I was part of an online moms group that felt like a sisterhood, but then, as they found out about my sister being a medium and me, too, being spiritual, it was uncovered that many of the women had created a secondary group in which I was a target of judgment. What I thought was a sisterhood, had completely dissolved beneath me.
I felt like I was stepping out of the shell of who I was, and was starting a new life - entirely, and completely, alone.
And, as I’ve progressed through motherhood and this spiritual journey, I’ve felt like that more times than I have not.
Alone. Without friends. Without support. Just me.
Whenever someone spoke of us all being sisters or being part of a sisterhood, I found the language cringe-y and it did not at all resonate with me.
But yet, I wanted a connection with other sisters. Other healers. Other moms. Other women doing similar things to what I was doing. I wanted a network of support free from judgment.
I longed for it. I wished for it. I prayed for it.
Then, after my second child was born, something in me shifted.
I stopped waiting for friends and sisters to appear. For someone to reach out to me. For some happenstance occurrence of serendipity where I met my whole tribe somewhere out and about.
I started reaching out - NOT to create business or professional connections - but to other women doing something similar to what I was doing.
I reached out in a vulnerable way, and I showed my value for what they were offering. . . by paying for their work.
Not in a slime-y underhanded, with ulterior motives kind of way, but because I genuinely needed the service they were offering.
I found people who were doing something along the lines of what I was doing, I reached out, and I supported their work.
Over time, the threads of these connections built as I continued to foster and support those threads. A large part of this started happening on Instagram. I would comment, support, and cheer on other women and what they were doing if it resonated with me.
I’d respond to their heartfelt posts with support and my own similar experiences.
And at the same time, though I did not realize it, I started calling my own sisterhood community to me with the creation of The Shaman Life subscription program.
My sisters are other healers, other moms, other witchy women doing a similar thing and walking a similar path.
We’ve been sisters for lifetimes, and it was just a matter of me reaching out to them again and finding them.
In my own experience, I’ve found that the best way to support your sisters and find them, is to support and show value for the work they are doing. To give gifts. To shower your support on them, and to show them that what they are doing has value to you.
Within our current world, especially after we’ve all left school, it can be really hard to not only find your sisters, but when they may be located anywhere in the world, to also share a vulnerable connection with them.
Vulnerable, open connection is the unifying factor is creating strong, sisterhood bonds.
It happens in school naturally, as we travel through our adolescence and our vulnerable, moldable younger years together.
In adult life, when we don’t live in small communities, it happens less naturally. But, it can still happen.
You just have to find yourself in a vulnerable place with other women, your sisters.
This can be through a class. This can be through a soul group or a community. This can be through a one-on-one work with another sister.
We find our sisters by valuing them and by baring our souls to them.
Sisterhood is found when you drop your walls, and share openly with them, free from the teacher-student, mentor-mentee, client-therapist relationship.
As I type this article, for the first time in my life, I don’t wake up feeling so alone anymore.
A sisterhood is forming and I can feel it.
All women have a sisterhood, but that sisterhood may not exist solely in your neighborhood.
Your sisterhood, like mine, is global.
To find them requires vulnerability, support, and openness. It requires an investment of time and, likely, money. You have to go to the places where other sisters gather. You have to share a space with other sisters, and open your heart to them, to find them.
Instagram is a place for this. Classes are places for this. Communities of sisters are places for this. And if you need help calling your sisters to you, I highly, highly, recommend the Sisterhood Circle guided journey meditation by Laura Biddle of Roots for Wings Healing. It’s seriously amazing. It assists in calling your sisters to you and connecting them with you on a spiritual and an energetic level. Because, well, all things happen first at the level of energy.
Finding a sisterhood isn't an overnight process. It's a journey. It starts with you reaching out, baring your soul, and trusting another sister.
Disclosure: I was provided the above-linked meditation free of charge. My opinions of it are my own. I do not receive any monetary compensation if you purchase it.