When I was a kid, there was a very familiar speech in our household.
It was the “wants vs. needs” speech.
Every time we wanted something, as kids often do, my mom would go into a speech explaining to us the difference between wants and needs and why we couldn’t have what we wanted, instead, we could only buy we actually needed.
She reasoned that she wanted the Peter, Paul, and Mary complete musical collection, but because she identified that as not a need (debatable), she couldn't have it.
I didn’t grow up wealthy - not by a long shot.
My mom made our clothes, clothes that we refused to wear once we got old because of the teasing they invited.
With 4 kids and a single income household, she budgeted very carefully to ensure that she could stay home with us full time and that we had food to put on the table.
But, growing up, one thing became very clear.
We couldn’t afford.
We couldn’t afford A LOT.
My parents did everything in their power to give us a healthy upbringing where all our needs were met, but all the while, using the script that we could only afford our needs, and not our wants.
I learned to tell myself, several times a day, tens of hundreds of times a week something I’m sure you’re quite familiar with.
“I can’t afford . . . “
“I don’t have. . . “
Once I joined forces with my husband and we became a family, that mantra just changed to “we can’t afford” and “we don’t have.”
After 30 some years telling myself this, both internally and outloud, it suddenly dawned on me that this was a problem.
My “I can’t afford” mantra was causing me to actually not have and to actually not be able to afford.
I was my own roadblock.
The thing is, when you tell a story for yourself - that’s your story. It’s what you tell yourself, others, and energetically, it’s the signal you send out to everyone in the universe.
In the case of not being able to afford, this signal says, “Don’t send me any abundance, because my story is that I can’t afford and I don’t have.”
You energetically close the doors and block yourself from receiving abundance.
Any time you even THINK the words: I can’t afford, I don’t have, or any variation thereof, you’re straight up blocking yourself from ever affording or ever having because you’re, in essence, insisting upon this being your story.
It doesn’t have to be your story!
And I’m not on some pedestal telling you this. This was my story for 30 years.
How did I stop? How can you stop?
1. Catch yourself in the act
You have to stop this signal from being sent out to the universe as the story you’re telling. To do this, you have to stop telling the story. It’s like biting your nails, the only way to stop the habit is to catch yourself doing it and immediately stop yourself.
Start with just one day and wake up with the intention that this will be the day that you notice each time you have the thought or speak the words. Catch the words as they come out of your mouth or as they enter your thoughts. Then, immediately stop the train of thought and. . .
2. Shift your focus to what you do have and what you do afford
You do afford things already. You already do have things. What can you afford? What do you have? Are all your needs met in this moment? When you stop your “I can’t afford” train of thought or speech, immediately switch it to - “I can afford,” and “I do have.” Remind yourself that all your needs are met in this moment. Just like my mom taught us, teach yourself that you have exactly what you need - always.
Really, all it takes is just for you to stop saying it and to stop thinking it. That’s how you can start affording and start getting the money to have things. That’s the key to unlocking abundance and sending unexpected money your way and ideas for money.
After you get rid of your “I can’t afford” broken record, you open up the doorways to receiving money and ideas for getting money so that you can start affording just about anything.
LAST UPDATED: September 23, 2015