Guest Post by Amanda Linette Meder Psychic Medium
A positive affirmation is a self compliment.
And many of us, are used to rewarding ourselves and our hard work with self criticisms, judgments and critiques.
After an accomplishment, as large as a presentation that we’ve been preparing for over a year, or speaking our mind for the first time, to as small for simply getting to the grocery store before it closes, phrases like this:
“You are so disorganized.”
“You get nervous so easily.”
“You are too sensitive.”
Are much more common, than phrases like this:
“You are always getting as much done as possible. You are so good at multitasking.”
“You are so brave and courageous for standing up in front of a crowd.”
“You are always confronting fears and living your truth.”
The second set of phrases are affirmations, validations and compliments of you, for doing the best you can. You can give these praises to yourself, even when no one else does. In fact, I do it all the time and when I do, I am saying to myself, “I love and approve of you in this moment.”
For a better portion of my life, I was taught to and tried to live by, the age old practice of self criticism, and it never worked. Instead of feeling accomplished, I never felt good enough. Instead of feeling pride in my work, I looked for errors, flaws and room for improvement. Instead of feeling loved by myself or anyone at all, I felt rejected.
In the act of judging and criticizing myself, I was beating up on my Spirit and in turn, my soul and further wounding the wounds that I already had from years of unhealed relationships to myself and others. In attacking my nervousness to give a presentation, I was delivering a blow to my solar plexus, my seat of self confidence. In telling myself I wasn’t good enough at getting chores done on time, I was attacking my heart chakra and feelings of enoughness.
For years, I was focusing on the providing myself with validation and feedback from the first set of phrases, delivering blow after blow to my own Spirit, rather than focusing on boosting myself up with the second set of phrases, delivering boost after boost to my own Spirit.
Just as a simple experiment, I decided to try and see what it felt like to rewrite the script. With each nasty thing I said to myself, I would stop myself and replace it with the positive, loving counterpart to that statement. Because I never knew when I would pounce on myself with an attack, I developed a list of counter-compliments, which I stored in both my purse and in an email that I wrote to myself that I could pull up at any time.
Over the course of a months time, I slowly begin to teach myself the new vocabulary of compliments. Since I hadn’t grown up in a home where friendliness, love and compliments were common place, I literally felt like I was learning a new language. And compliments, which were always hard for me to give to others, I’d found were even harder to give to myself.
Here’s a short list of affirmations (self-compliments) that became a part of my vocabulary, sometimes, hundreds of times a day.
“I love and accept you just the way you are.”
“You have everything you need in this moment.”
“You are doing the best you can each and every day.”
After a about a month, I started feeling better, more capable, more ready to rise up out of bed each morning and face the day. And because I was starting to feel better, not worse, I kept going. Even though, at times, I felt ridiculous doing it.
But, through the process of replacing self criticism, with self compliment, affirmation, I’ve found some major benefits. Which is why I’ve adopted it into my Spiritual care practice.
The 4 Healing Benefits of Positive Affirmations
1. You do start feeling better about yourself
After a period of 21-30 days, I began feeling much better about myself. I was waking up in the morning feeling invigorated, ready to start the day and walking with my chest out. I was better able to deflect any comments or criticisms coming from others in my space, who were still living in their world of criticism.
2. Your feelings translate to motivated action
Where I once felt incapable, I began to feel capable. Where I once felt unable or undeserving of, I soon felt completely deserving. With a change in my perspective of myself, I soon felt I was able to, capable of and deserving of having and doing things, that I otherwise would have talked myself out of. Some days, these feelings translated to simply feeling deserving of a chocolate croissant and other days, it felt like the ability to take on a new project, business, or endeavor. As I told myself I deserved beauty, I began to feel motivated to seek it out.
3. You begin to have a more positive outlook on the world
With an inner world and perspective replaced by praise and rejecting of criticism, I actually began to see my outer world with more praise, beauty and complementary of my situation. What I once may have seen as a terrible circumstance or a poor turn of events, I was able to see the lesson, the teaching and the beauty of this situation more easily. I’d taught myself the vocabulary to be able to do this. I began to enjoy my life and the situations I was given more freely, because I was able to appreciate them more than I was before.
4. You begin to see others in a more positive light, too
By replacing my own inner thoughts with ones of compassion, my ability to think and see others through the lens of compassion and compliment was greatly enhanced. These days, I can look to others and see their beauty, more readily than I can see their flaws. And this changed, because I began to see my own beauty before I saw my flaws. Even when I now have those in my space or my life who focus on what is wrong, bad or the flaw, I can not only deflect this, in my new internal light and perspective, but I can assist another person, by providing them with a new framework and perspective to look through, as well. I can, temporarily, offer my lens, so that the other may have an opportunity see it’s value.
Not only did my internal lens change, but my external lens changed, too.
Soon, after I integrated this process, I became a full time medium. And I realized something. This new, complimentary, validating way that I saw myself and others, was exactly the way that those in Spirit see us. Loved Ones, Guides and Angels are always trying to find a way to heal through compliment, through boosting, rather than through punching away.
Looking back on the time of my life when I criticized more than complimented, I was continually coming down with an upset and unsettled stomach. In fact, I’d even been hospitalized for gastrointestinal problems and complications. The doctors could never find a source of the upset. And now, I realize the source. Anyone would begin to feel sick if their daily medicine was a punch to the stomach, an attack on their own self power.
By replacing self compliments, affirmations, with self criticism, you heal your solar plexus and from there, you can begin to heal the rest of your chakras, energetic and spiritual system.
LAST UPDATED: March 24, 2015