When I was in my early 20s, my father suddenly passed away.
He had been sick for awhile and I knew the day was coming eventually, on a mostly theoretical level, so when he died, it came as a shock.
I was devastated, but because I was my dad’s favorite child, I was certain he would start visiting me soon and start showing me signs of his presence in my life.
At the time, I wasn’t really into anything metaphysical and was largely agnostic, so I can’t say that I had a strong belief in the afterlife. Even so, I’d grown up in haunted houses, and they gave me enough evidence to believe that my dad would definitely be sending me signs from the afterlife.
If anyone in the family was going to get those signs, I reasoned, it was definitely going to be me.
Within days of his passing, I hadn’t gotten any signs. But, someone else had.
Her phone was ringing with blocked and unknown numbers, answering to only static. Paintings were being removed from the walls behind locked doors. Pictures of our father were magically being placed on her pillow at night.
I ooohed and aaahed. But I was jeal-ous.
Internally, I was angry and bewildered.
“I’m the favorite, where are my signs?”
“Why isn’t he visiting me?”
“Where the heck is he?”
In the years between when he died and when I learned to be able to communicate with him and talk to him as a spirit (when I became a shaman), I received exactly TWO signs from him.
One came at my college graduation and one came on my wedding day.
I still wondered though, why was it that my twin sister was sign-o-mania all these years and I was getting zilch?
There was a big difference between my sister and I when my father died. You see, our relationship with him differed in polarity as far as polar opposites could get.
When he died, I was devastated and grief-stricken - for years. I was the favorite, remember? That means that my twin sister, Amanda was not the favorite. She never got the father that I had. So when he died, the grief-stricken feelings were not the same for her.
He visited her in force, trying to send her signs, send her anything, to get her to forgive him and acknowledge that he’d made a mistake.
And me? He couldn’t get through.
I was so effusive in my emotional grief that I’d created around myself, energetically, what I like to call a “grief bubble.”
When you experience immense grief in the passing of a loved one, energetically, you surround yourself in a bubble that becomes impenetrable to a loved one in Spirit trying to get through.
Your grief makes it impossible for you to be reached. Meaning, your recently deceased loved ones, while they may try and try to get through, won’t be able to get you to sense them, feel them, hear them, or see them. It will seem as though you aren’t being visited, even though you are.
The easiest way to think of this is to imagine that the grief bubble is like a giant teardrop. You’ve been crying and emotional energy that you’re releasing during this time is heavy. It’s thick, it’s dense, and there’s a lot of it. Lots of pain, lots of sadness, lots of emotion.
This energy doesn’t just stay within you and close to you, but your emotional distress surrounds you, too, so that it’s palpable to those around you. You’re surrounded by an energetic bubble of heavy, dense, emotion.
If a recently deceased loved one gets close, they may try to get through, but from the outside, it’s as though you are locked inside an unbreakable teardrop. Sound can’t travel through the energy, and any visual images (like their appearance) are blurry and filtered out, too. You can forget about feeling their presence, because if they tried to touch your shoulder, for example, all they’d reach is the top layers of the grief bubble, barely making an indent.
So, what can you do?
The best thing you can do to start feeling, sensing, and connecting with your recently deceased loved one again is to allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and pass through all stages of grief. Withholding or restricting emotion will just keep the bubble around for longer.
As the emotions begin to release and pass, the grief bubble surrounding you becomes thinner and more penetrable. Over time, it completely fades. This may take days, weeks, months, or years, depending on your grieving process.
Be patient. Your loved ones are visiting you. Have no doubt about it.
LAST UPDATED: December 18, 2015