Why Do Haters Hate?

Why do haters hate you? Or anyone, for that matter? It might not be what you think.

by Sarah Petruno, Shamana

I’ve had haters long before I had a blog, a radio show, or any kind of platform.

Middle school, high school, college and beyond, people haven’t liked me for seemingly no other reason beyond that they just didn’t like me.

At the same time, there have been people that have liked and even loved me.

I’m sure the same is true for you, too.

There’s that girl in high school that seemingly hated everyone, including you, for just minding their own business.

And now, as an adult, there are still those girls (and guys) that don’t like you just because. Because of your hair, your face, your clothes, your voice, your colloquialisms, your activities, your likes and your dislikes.

There will always be people that don’t like you, just like there will always be people that DO like you.

Some people, we are drawn to and are meant to connect with and others we are repelled from.

On a core level, this has to do with energy. We are all made of energy when you look at our core elements and building blocks. We are made of millions of tiny, vibrating particles that combine to form larger molecules, structures, and entire organs to finally come together and create our entire being. We are made of energy, and that energy has a resonance. A waveform. A vibration.

Individuals who are “matches” to us and have similar energy resonances to us are those that we find ourselves drawn to, and they drawn to us. We are attracted, as individuals, to others that are similar to us whether we know it on a conscious level in terms of likes and dislikes, or if we have no idea the similarity because we can’t see it.

In this way, we are attracted to similar individuals whose energy resonates with ours.

When someone dislikes us, in most cases, this means that they are not attracted to our energy.

Why do haters hate you? Or anyone, for that matter? It might not be what you think.

Their energy is not resonant with ours, in fact, it’s discordant. This discordant energy is like nails on a chalkboard, or an instrument playing out of tune in a music assembly. It makes us cringe and is unpleasant to experience.

Discordance creates an unpleasant feeling, and when we feel unpleasant towards someone else for no reason, sometimes, our mind makes up a reason. Hair, teeth, voice, mannerism, likes and dislikes. Our mind chooses a reason to point to and say “I don’t like you because of this.” When really, it’s very likely not that at all, and it’s the energetic unpleasantness created by the discord between you and another person.

Discords exist because we are all different. We’re all at different stages in our lives and our paths of growth and development. We can’t all be on the same wavelength at the same time, or no one would grow and advance. We learn from each other, and sometimes, that learning comes from others that are not within your sphere of energy resonance.

This is where haters come from, unfortunately.

Not only can haters and criticizers recognize with precision that they don’t like someone or something, they’re also, in many cases unhappy on some level.

It’s one thing to notice that you don’t like someone (and not immediately know that it’s their energy you don’t get along with!), and it’s a whole other thing to turn that dislike into a hateful or criticizing statement.

When you become the target for haters on a larger scale, it means something is happening. It means you’re getting noticed and you’re making waves. Like moths to a flame, as the light gets bigger and brighter, more moths come.

Do you necessarily want moths to come to your flame? If you’re getting noticed, there’s not much you can do . . . except learn how to handle the moths.

Learn how to not let them bother you, find out why they come at all, how to respond and if you need to, and how to regroup after an onslaught.

In the next post, I’ll uncover the 10 steps you need to know to deal with all the haters coming your way. Stay tuned!

With love,


LAST UPDATED: April 19, 2015

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