Two years ago, my old blog was at its height. Tons of page views, hundreds of articles, and I thought I had done it and made my shamanism business pretty successful for a semi-fringe spiritual practice 😛. (Though, it's going through a bit of a resurrection right now!).
My husband stayed at home with the kids, while I blogged and blogged, and created content, and courses, and basically. . . burned myself out trying to help other people work through their stuff while also trying to support our family.
No one really talks about the back end of being a blogger and what that looks like. It's a lot of work. And me personally, I was not handling my self-care and time off well enough. I basically wasn't doing it. Not the fault of the blog, or the anyone else, but my own personal lesson that I needed to learn.
I was taking too much on and not setting proper boundaries or self-care guidelines for myself, regardless of what I was teaching others. And I was getting sicker and sicker while doing. This is pretty common of all healers, as we tend to take on too much to help and save others, and ignore our own body's cries for help. Sound familiar?
Things are much different now. I finally had to listen to what my body was yelling at me to do.
2 years later, I am the stay at home parent, I am focusing more on myself and my family, and I'm actually taking care of myself, almost to the point of being radical.
Over the last two years, I've
- surrendered to the necessity of western medicine and had my gallbladder removed in an emergency surgery. Stayed in the hospital 4 days.
- deleted my old blog to completely go within and get better
- been diagnosed with at least one autoimmune and inflammatory condition
- started and maintained the autoimmune paleo protocol going on 6 months, finally accepting that a radical change in diet was absolutely crucial to internal healing (can't be all energy healing and love and light, y'all)
- started staying home with my kids and working less (yes, I worked from home before, but now I am the primary caregiver and not the mom working upstairs in the office)
- been listening to my body whenever it protests now, and I actually rest when it asks to and take breaks when it asks me to.
- joined a network marketing company that I resisted and ended up loving the products
I never stopped practicing shamanism, even though it may seem on the surface that my practice vanished from public eye.
And it kinda did - but, now I work primarily with referral clients and from time to time, offer group shamanic healings.
I went mostly off the spiritual internet business grid, and it was good for me. It was good for my health to disconnect.
But the biggest lesson I've learned during this time is to look really closely at the things you resist.
When I first started my shamanism business years ago, I can still hear myself saying the words that I would NEVER lead a guided meditation because it just "wasn't my style." I've led hundreds, maybe thousands.
I once said I would never teach a shamanic training class. I've now taught two full classes.
I once said I would never be able to give up gluten forever, and here we are, at a point where I may never willingly eat it again due to its role in inflammation and the autoimmune process.
I once said I would never join a network marketing company because it was for lazy people, it was a scam, that the products didn't really work, and it was just a price markup so greedy people could make money (um, isn't that the entire premise of some big box stores I know? Everything has a retail markup...). And yet, here we are, 2 years later and I'm super close to hitting my next big rank in Young Living. Platinum. A rank and a paycheck that can bring our family breathing room and allow me to offer even more shamanic services at a lower cost. (Income Disclosure)
The oils are powerful, they work, and they've helped me so much. Emotionally, spiritually, physically, energetically - all of it. These past 2 years have been a wild ride and when that ride hit its' lowest points, I could smell or use an oil, and feel supported, comforted, and not wholly alone.
The point of all of this and the message I want to send out is this:
If there's something in your life you're resisting doing, you've said no to, or said you would "never do," I want you to look really closely at that.
What stories have you told yourself about that thing that just aren't true? Or don't have to be true?
What lies are you telling yourself to keep you from stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying something that could change your life?
How are you keeping yourself in a place of struggle or smallness because of something you're saying "no" to?
Because honestly, if two years have taught me anything, it's that some of our biggest threats to our health and well-being don't necessarily come from someone or something else, they come from within, and the lies and stories we tell ourselves.
I burned myself out, not the blog.
I told myself lies about networking marketing that kept me from trying some truly life-changing plant magic.
I told myself that I didn't need what I thought were extreme dietary changes.
I talked myself out of believing that my gallbladder needed to be looked at, for too long, and it almost got life-threatening.
So friends, if you're reading this, what lies are you telling yourself right now today that just aren't true and are keeping you from living a fuller, happier life?
And if you're reading this and still don't have those truly life-changing bottles of plant magic, I'd be happy to help you get them into your life. Follow this link right here.